COMPASSION has its Say

In one modality I work with, the SELF gets in dialogue with parts of me that are less than functional in my entire system. Maybe at some time these parts of me worked well, were quite integrated with my social network and family, but now they are "Burnin' Down the House." Life is dynamic and, let's face it, even my teeth are slowly wearing out.

As painful as it is, something has to be done. What worked before doesn't necessarily apply to what's happening in me now.

Let's talk about this SELF which is in dialogue or embracing my ornery parts, helping them to transform, embracing them, giving them what they need or lack. In order to recognize your SELF, you have to be quiet inside and find existential nothingness or the gap between your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. This is what meditation is about.

Quieting down, emptying the vessel, slowing down the flow of thoughts and feelings. Cleansing. And out of that nothingness a divine somethingness emerges characterized by unconditional love, compassion, clarity, calmness, courage . . . and it is beyond experience, (nothing can touch it). AND it is beyond identity, gender, nationality, and religion: "Hey COMPASSION, w'sup?! Do you distinguish between race, color, nationality or creed? No you don't, do you?" Cool … cool. Ok, but why not?"

COMPASSION counters, "Cuz I know who I am and who I am only, but only includes the entirety of existence so we in this together, you dig? There is only one infinite love, one heart. There's no such thing as two."

The narrator parries, "So why do brothers hate and kill each other so much if we is one?"

COMPASSION flurries, "Yeah, yeah, yeah … they simply overlook who they truly are and get caught up in the relative world of you and me, black and white, Jew and Muslim, gay and straight, man and woman. They stop seein' name and form when they melt in love, become the no-mind in a pure laugh, the release of a good sneeze, the nothingness in a good sleep, the ecstasy when the dance does the dancing and the dancer disappears; all this points to who they truly are."

The friggin' narrator is loses his mojo, "So whose side are you on motherf**ker?"






COMPASSION calmly croons, "I am all sides and none. This ain't a riddle brother. But I am on the sides with the best possible vision which brings the light and love to the darkest of places. I am the forgiveness in the peace treaty. I am the sadness, the fear, the remorse, and the trauma. I ask them how I can serve them and I embrace their needs. I can break the dark troublemakers, connect them to the parts they have exiled for years and help them own up. I can show them meaning, SELF-love, and maturity."

And finally the narrator ruefully quips, "You ain't God, b**tch!"

COMPASSION comes clean, "Right. But I am you and I love you as me because you are me. And I'll tell you somethin' else I'm not. I'm not a coward. I don't choose a side because it's hip and trendy to do so and I don't want to be uncool. I don't choose a side because the mob is choosing it and even though in my heart I know it's the wrong side, I choose it opportunistically out of fear and survivalism for myself or some group I belong to because I don't want my group to be associated with the side getting picked on. And most importantly, I am content unto myself and I don't need to become antisemitic or gay bashing or misogynistic etc. just because times get tough, or my pocketbook is light, and I can't find meaning in my day."

The narrator's feelin' COMPASSION, "I got your back, Jack."

COMPASSION sums it up, "You always had it. You simply overlooked it."

You are welcome to join me for a session of Internal Family Systems. Have your SELF meet the parts which need its kind and special attention. Heal and harmonize yourself. I encourage your curiosity and motivation for self-growth and development. Help yourself gain space in your consciousness so that you no longer have pesky parts of yourself overwhelming your internal horizon and outer system.




Aaron Roy Spungin Ph.D

psychotherapist, social worker